rhymes with armistice.

...homesickness. or not even homesickness. lack-of-a-real-college-campus-and-parents-because-they're-in-madrid-need-a-break-from-school-ness. that's right. I miss my parents. I wish I had a campus. I need a break from school.

why on earth would I miss my parents (other teenagers are definitely feeling the blasphemy here)? I see my parents once a week. that's a perfect amount to help out a little bit in the office, get dinner & catch up, get a ride home and NOT get sick of them. so missing that one week is a lot for me. it's alright, they got home yesterday, I went with dad to get mom from the airport and we went out for dinner and today was tuesday which is our weekly dinner night so I got two nights back to back AND I got presents from madrid. I also love my parents. they're really cool and easy to talk to and just kind of awesome. I definitely lucked out in that category.

needing a campus? that was a recent thing. it just hit me that I have NO school community. I don't feel connected to hunter AT ALL. I love my friends here, in the dorm (yeah, the ONE dorm) but college feels more like high school than college and I don't really know what to do about that. there's no roll-out-of-bed-run-to-class-dining-hall-dinner kind of college experience here and, while I thought I would be okay with it, I'm really not. it's the only time in my life I'll ever have the option of having that experience and I feel like I'm going to look back in 20 years and feel like I cheated myself out of a great "college experience." I know that's the typical college experience and I'm not typical but once in a while I'd like the typical experience too. everyone else gets it and I know I'm able to handle this arrangement and be happy, but I think I would be happier somewhere else. as mom put it...I "would only be happy at columbia." tough nougies for me.

and needing a break from school? not that things are particularly difficult here (I didn't study for my psych test, I got a 97), it's just that I haven't had a real break since school started. we had off for holidays but I go to shul for holidays or have family dinners for holidays so they're not REAL holidays. I'm just ready for a break.