A SHOUTOUT TO SALLY ROSE.

oh hey there sally. I know you wanted a shout out.

for those of you who don't know sally, let's do a brief biography, shall we?
sally zemmol, born to luna & jonny on april 22nd (earth day and the day after my birthday!) and older sister to david, is currently a senior at the abraham joshua heschel high school. her passions include fashion, yearbook, baby pictures, hello kitty, bloomingdales and her boyfriend daniel. she spends many an afternoon knitting in her rocking chair with her cats (a tribute to hello kitty). tall and thin, she has the ideal model stature and uses it to her advantage. she is fierce, fabulous and always wins spring fling queen. sally is also currently the one (and only!) reader of this blog. mad props.

now on to business:
I had an epiphany at sometime this week that technology is not all it's cracked up to be. maybe it's the emotion-bereft text messaging & bbming that my crackberry allows me to be adept at, maybe it's the fact that I spend a good deal of time trying to make plans (or hear about them) instead of letting things happen, or maybe it's that I get anxious or upset when I don't hear from certain people daily because (like me, of course) they should carry around their phones with them at all times, have them next to them when they sleep, never power them down, and always bring the charger along...just in case the phone dies. oh wait, maybe that's just me. and maybe I'm going technology crazy (dying for a mac even when my pc is more than perfectly fine and still under warranty), or maybe I'm just trying too hard to be connected to everyone always, all the time, because I'm afraid I'll miss out.

now let's not jump the gun; I'm not saying that it's a BAD thing that I'm so reachable. really, I'm not. but is it at the point where I'm too reachable? that if, heaven forbid (!), my parents couldn't find me one night they would think I was kidnapped? partially, yes, but maybe not to that extent.

the greater problem lies in the fact that I'm always trying to feel like I'm reaching out -- and I'm always suffering the consequences for it. that I always have my phone with me pressures me to make plans earlier in the day, before I know what's going on. of course, when things don't work out and people are busy anyway, it makes me wonder if they just don't want to hang out with me at all. on my defense, I do believe I am a bit paranoid, but not overly so. I just think that having my phone on me at all times can make me feel emotionally dejected at times.

but wait, isn't this a huge contradiction? yes, I do suppose it is. and maybe my paranoia is totally justified and I should have reason to worry. but in the end? I always have plans on saturday night, I don't look for plans on friday afternoon anymore (I'm training myself to be good at being bored -- which I will blog about another time), and I do feel like I'm generally in the know.

so while there are pros and cons to both sides of the argument (geez I spend my life debating, debating myself even), I have promised myself to wean myself off my phone. just like I am learning how to not be bored, I will learn how to be alone. it seems, at least, as if the two are somewhat connected. so, I hereby vow to be more unreachable, less reliant on my cell phone and live more presently. I don't really need to talk to people if they're not with me, do I? so the cell phone ban has thus begun.

(and for the record, I like being reachable. it makes me feel reliable. and that's a feeling I don't intend to give up while on my crackberry crusade.)