at what point do we give up? when do we realize that the fight just isn't worth fighting, that it isn't worth it anymore? do we always coast along until we get hurt? if yes, why is that the case? why can't we stop the hurt by means of retrospection and introspection?
I guess this is the problem I'm facing right now. it's going to be so hard to give him up and move on, but we just don't see eye to eye. and, the sad truth is, we never will. he will never want the emotional attachment that I feel for him. in many ways this is a flipped situation: I usually don't let myself get attached, but I did. he usually loves being in relationships, with me he doesn't.
this whole situation is fucked up.
welcome to january 3rd, 2010. I'm still living in the la-la-land of august 1st, 2009. 5 months later and I'm still not over it when I should be. giving him up will be so hard, but I need to. even if it's just not calling him or texting him or talking to him daily. let him talk to me. let him initiate a hangout. it's going to be hard, waiting. waiting is always hard. but I can do it. willpower. a strong, competitive female spirit. ignoring the debates in my head. caring again. throwing myself passionately into something.
it's not going to be easy, but at least I know that.
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