the hypocrisy of college notifications.

currently 3.5 for 4.
got accepted to barnard today (+1) and wait listed at wesleyan (+.5). the upsetting thing is that regardless of how happy I am (thrilled, actually, because my interview at barnard was horrendous and I thought I was going to just get flat out rejected from wesleyan), I'm so confused and lost in this crazy process. granted, I'm still waiting to hear back from 3 more schools (only 2 of which I would remotely consider attending) but even if I get accepted to those 3 schools I would still have no clue where I want to go.

and everyone wants to be accepted everywhere they apply -- that's living the dream, right? I mean I think that if you get accepted everywhere you're:
A. incredibly diverse (racially, in terms of background, etc.), or;
B. didn't apply to hard enough reaches (which can be a good or a bad thing, depending on what you want in a school), or;
C. applied and got accepted early decision. in which case you rock.
but the fact remains that the more schools you get accepted to, the more decisions you have to make. naturally there are some schools I can rule right off my list (actually, just 1) but when you're like me and promise yourself that you will only apply to schools you're really in love with, getting accepted to many schools is a pain in the ass. it's currently march 26th and I have a little bit more than a month to decide where I will spend the next 4, incredibly influential and life-changing, years of my life.

I'm trying really, super hard NOT to sound like I'm whining right now. I hate those people who get what they want and whine about it, but this is a big decision. I'm terrible at making little decisions, so big decisions are that much worse. a lot of riding on this decision (another reason why I just wanted to get in early to columbia. too bad that didn't happen, haha.) and I don't want to have to transfer colleges. I understand it wouldn't be the end of the world, but it would also be a pain in the ass for a few reasons.
#1. losing the friends I would have made and starting anew.
#2. applying while you're doing a thousand and a half things in college already.
#3. losing credits and graduating late.
(there must be more.)

anyway, I have no idea what to do. I don't have a first choice school, I don't have a last choice school. I like the social life of one school, the size of another, the teacher accessibility of another, the people of another, the reputation of another, the community of another, the price of another and so much more. there are endless reasons to chose and reject schools and it's a give and choose. but, only applying to schools that I loved and/or could see myself at only makes my decision that much harder. but what can you do? I'm certainly happier to have the options available to me than not have them at all and that is truly indicative of the hypocrisy and difficulty of the college process.