yes, yes, that is a movie quotation from Moulin Rouge (a fantastic movie that I actually haven't seen in a while) and a good one at that. as pathetic and cliche as it sounds (and as ironic as it sounds coming from me), I will dedicate this blogpost to the upcoming, very americanized holiday: Valentine's Day.
while I think the mantra used to be "the older you get, the more valentine's day means to you," I find it to be quite the opposite in my opinion. this year, with no one predestined to be my "valentine" (disclaimer: I hate that term) because I'm not in a relationship, I find myself totally liberated, not depressed. I just remember being younger and watching a lizzy maguire episode about valentine's day and thinking to myself "wow, I hope when I get to high school I always have a boyfriend to spend valentine's day with." I definitely no longer think that way.
valentine's day is much like your birthday in that you want everything to work out flawlessly and reflect all good things of your life, relationship, friendship, etc. and you hold the day to an oddly higher standard. why? there's no reason. in fact, it's even less justified than expecting your birthday to be the paragon of excellence in your life. valentine's day doesn't MEAN anything. it means cards, roses, candy, a boost in hallmark sales (okay, that's me being cynical) and, what I believe to be the most frequent trademark, dissappointment.
why was I so disappointed upon receiving hair in a card 2 years ago? it was certainly funny and any other day I would have laughed my ass off. but, when I got a card with hair, what I initially believed to be a mouse corpse, I was aghast. I had spent time and money on said boyfriend's present, making it clever and cute, and he gave me a card with hair in it? I guess it reinforced the pathetic reality that I had been shielding myself from: this guy was a weirdo. if it took a pink card that contained his freshly trimmed hair to prove this to myself, then shame on me. needless to say, we broke up shortly thereafter.
why had I been so angry though? I could never answer this question for myself. I didn't know why I was so mad at him, what triggered my brain to finally recognize this kid's weirdness or why I didn't open the card and start laughing. I guess it's because I had been expecting something sweet -- roses, a nice card, something personal? nothing big, I'm hardly the romantic OR the high maintenance girl in the relationship, but something more than the hairy card.
and so I continue my tale: this is the first year that, by chance, I have no boyfriend. so, I am traveling to philadelphia, amidst its snow & sleet, to spend valentine's day with my best friend lexi. as per every previous year, I bought a present for my valentine: 2 books (1 art book, 1 little book of pep-talks & picker-uppers). even if lexi doesn't get me anything back (which she probably won't) I know that I won't be disappointed. I don't want to look at valentine's day in the traditional way; rather, I want to see it as somewhat of a thanksgiving. I am thankful for lexi so I will be spending valentine's day with her. and I know that I love her and she loves me back...and if we're not in anything more than a platonic relationship (more akin to a sisterhood for us), that is a-okay by me.
for those of you suffering breakups or want some music love, check out this tribute to breakup songs. oh npr, you never cease to amaze me.
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you know that hair line made me crack up so much
ReplyDeleteit was a rat