a snow(ed in) day.

dear friends.
as I sit in my nice toasty bed, I realize that this day could only have been better if I owned a onesie. sadly, target only sells them for indivduals 18 months old and younger. they also call them "blanket sleepers." all I want is a flannel onesie. is that so much to ask?

after watching Keeping the Faith last night (one of my absolute favorite movies), I realized how pertinent it is to my life. the two people (enter Jenna Elfman & Ben Stiller) care about each other deeply, have this nearly instant chemistry, and have to keep their relationship a secret. in the end (almost) everything is botched because of their religion differences. I just thought about my post about interfaith marriage and relationships and it made me so happy that my parents would never get so mad if I developed feelings for someone who isn't jewish. I guess this is a point that the movie makes because the mother (enter Anne Bancroft, thank you Mrs. Robinson!) apologizes for even making religious differences an issue. Ben Stiller, a rabbi in the movie, talks a lot about faith and trust and the importance of those two attributes in pretty much all aspects of life.

and so I took some time to relate this movie back to my life. I want to have faith in D, but it's hard (especially when I hear he wants to try substances that make you incredibly horny). he's away, sometimes I feel like I need more than he gives, etc., etc. but in the end, faith and trust is really the only thing that I have to fall back on. I have to trust that he'll be honest with me, I have to have faith that what he says is true.

but how do I trust someone who keeps hurting me? at what point do I have to lose trust in that individual? it doesn't have to be a boy even -- it can be a friend, a mentor, a teacher, anyone. all that I know is that I need to have faith and trust in a relationship that I believe in. it's hard, but I guess it's the only thing that I have for sure. and faith is a feeling, a gut instinct that you can't fight -- so don't fight it.