too much is always just enough.

I want to check in with myself (and with my current blog readers -- I do believe there are about 4 of you right now) and talk about high school drama, which there seems to be a lot of as of late. I've known this for a while, but I couldn't be happier that I never really got myself involved in a lot my grade's drama. instead, I've wrapped myself up in personal drama.

well, is this better or worse than grade drama? it sounds so juvenile to think about it, but really, it's not. friend drama is supposed to be something you cannot escape, regardless of age; it starts in middle school (it's really the worst there), continues in high school, follows you to college and then to the workplace, but does it ever go away? and is it better to be involved in group drama or personal drama?

on one hand, personal drama is much, much worse. group drama is severe and has the potential to hurt you on a much larger, widespread scale. as in, you fight with one friend in a group and suddenly everyone is picking sides and hearing all kinds of stories and there is the possibility of a whole group of people turning on you...and suddenly you've lost all of your friends. rumors start, it's harder to win back a big group of people, etc., etc. but, with group drama, you know that you can talk to people and they'll understand and have an opinion because:
1. they've heard both (and many more) sides of the story, and;
2. they know the people you're talking about so they can tell you if you're being stupid, misinterpreting, misreading, etc.
but, you know that no matter what, the drama will interfere with the group dynamic. and that is an issue.

personal drama, on the other hand, doesn't involve anyone from the group. so, while no one really gets hurt (other than you, that is) and you don't ruin a group of friends, no one else really cares about personal drama. it's sad, but totally true. also, no one can give you a definite answer regarding the situation because they don't ever really know the person you're having drama with. you end up feeling kind of lonely and helpless because there's no right answer.

so, while I've had more personal drama than group drama in high school, I'm not complaining. I can deal with personal drama, feeling lonely, freaking out (to some extent) that I'm talking too much about myself (let's face it, most people like to talk about themselves, it doesn't make us arrogant or notably egotistical even, it just makes us human), but I don't know if I would be able to deal as well with group drama. I don't think it's healthy. I don't think that fighting with best friends should involve a group. and that's why I've always been somewhat of a floater/loner. not a loner like eat-lunch-in-the-girls-bathroom type, but I do always feel a little out of the loop. then again, I think that's also normal.

I advocate personal drama to group drama. good friends will always listen to you tell the story, even if they don't know all parties involved. but where do you go when you have no friends to tell?