oh hey cruel intentions

I just watched cruel intentions for the first time ever (yes, I know I'm, like, 11 years late on this one) and I realized that I feel kind of like sarah michelle gellar in that movie sometimes. sometimes, really. I don't mean that I'm a crazy life-ruining super-slut bitch but sometimes my sympathy and empathy are way out of whack. I don't think I'm a sadist (I think I was a little bit at some point but I'm pretty sure I'm not anymore, I mean, more than the nest person -- cue avenue q's schadenfreude here) so don't think that I'm really comparing myself to her in the real way of we're-really-quite-similar, it's just that some of the things she does and some of the things she says are very much things I would have done at some point in my being. she's also super hot which I wish I were.

after thinking about it a little bit, I think I like her because she fights the double standard hard. yes, she is a crazy, psychotic, manipulative bitch who ruins people's lives, but she also knows who she is and what she stands for (sex, drugs, rock n' roll) and she accepts herself for who she is. I have to give the girl credit for that. also, she's totally comfortable with her sexuality and the power that it wields which I don't think many people do. especially many girls -- I don't think a lot of girls understand the power of their beauty or their bodies. granted sarah michelle gellar has a crazy sick body in the movie and is a bulimic nut, but she knows how to work her body.

just my thoughts on the movie (DON'T READ THIS IF YOU, LIKE ME, LIVE IN A CAVE & HAVEN'T YET SEEN CRUEL INTENTIONS BUT INTEND TO): obviously it had to end that way, it's cute that sebastian falls in love with annette and she loves him back, I love the end where he realizes that kathryn is just his puppeteer, I love the irony in the movie at that part (because obviously he loves her too, just for fucked up reasons), I love how complicated the movie gets, I love how sebastian and kathryn always look dressed up and victorian while everyone else is 90's-clad, I hate how cheesy sebastian and annette are, I hate cecilia's role and character (even thought I LOVE selma blair), I hate that sebastian never really gets passionate about anything, even when he claims he is passionate about it (but I guess that's half the beauty of his character, that he's so authentic).

anyway, it's really late. check out some MIA and HARDNYC if you're waiting for some groove jams. if not, kick it and get some sleep.